Kasut merah itu

When you get a hand-me-down shoes, or any other things for that matter, do you normally return them when you no longer need them? Or when you give away your shoes which of course is still in good condition to a person, do you expect that person to return them to you when they no longer need them? At least I don't. In both situations obviously.

So when I got back the red shoes that was given away some time ago to a relative, I was rather taken aback. What's more when the sole of one pair is almost coming out. Not to mention the inscription of the image on the front had already come off. I know it's still usable, in fact it fits no. 5 feet perfectly but why return it to me? Didn't ask for it, never ask for it. If you don't want it, throw it. Don't return it.

For whatever the reason is, I feel insulted.

The biggest loser

Back in April, I had this diet plan that I follow. All because of the figure although I am not obsessed. Also I wanted to feel good whenever I try on my old baju kurungs - saja nak torture mind, not that I have any functions whatsoever. Sha and Maz were also in this. All because we want to live a healthy life in a healthy body. And of course the diet plans varies, you know.. on certain days or times when we feel like eating what we want, we eat anyways regardless how high the calories let alone the fat, sugar and carbo contents. Or we would be on a no-rice plan for a few days and later on have a scrumptious meal that consist none other than RICE and its accompaniments. Nonetheless... we control our food intake. I think that's good enough. Hahaha like the plan gonna work that way huh?

It has been going on for almost 2 months now, the diet I mean. But of course being as easy a plan as it is, at times I don't bother about avoiding certain types of food especially dessert... where the most fat and calories come from I must say. That's when I became the biggest loser. While Sha and Maz eat what they want, they always have their workouts - swimming, running, aerobics, jogging etc. Whereas I do nothing except housework and at odd times (which is seldom), I do sit-ups. That makes me biggest loser number 1 among us 3.

Still I expect high results despite the low effort. That's why I am easily frustrated every time I step on the scale. The number doesn't change. Or if the number goes down a little, then there's the fat reading or the water reading that will go up.

But I personally think... if you are happy (being able to eat what you want), you will be healthy (being picky on types of food you consume). And having said that proves that I am definitely the biggest loser.

How I try to be organised

I really need to be more organised. These days the list of chores I have seemed so unaccomplishable. All the backlogs... ugghhh, 24 hours is never enough. If I skipped sleeping time, I'm pretty sure I will be up all night trying to finish whatever work is outstanding. It is never finished, it never even ends. In fact, the loads get more and more each day.

Honestly, I have always been a very disorganised person. A perfect example for tardiness. And I am plain lazy. I guess that explains all the backlogs. So much for trying to work smart *wink*, trying to do everything from having fun to having the work done at the same time. If you haven't noticed, housework can never end. Take the laundry, for instance. No matter how you try to load the dirty laundry in the machine, the basket however will never be empty. You clear it at 10.00 am, by 10.30 the same day, it is half full. By next morning, it's overloaded. Or perhaps the dirty dishes. You think you have cleaned all, and after an hour you come back into the kitchen, the sink is filled up again. Let's not talk about the dust, the mess, the rubbish because like the housework, they are no ends. Also because the person doing it is rather lazy.

So you see... if I were to concentrate on trying to make the house neat and tidy, spotless clean, how else do I find time to do the things that I like? Things that I want to do? Or at least have some entertainment? Or maybe just rest when there are clearly 6 persons contributing to the workloads and only one person doing it? The answer is never.

I have to do all these chores. But I have to be happy. At the same time I have to get the housework done in order to be happy happy. And in order to be happy happy, I have to be organised. How? I have no idea.

I need a plan. But I won't have high expectation on accomplishment wise. As long as all areas show progress, I would think that's an accomplishment already. Right? Let's not try to be ambitious in this impossibe world. Well, at least by now I already have my KPI drawn out.

Bad mommy

If there's a worst-mom-evah award, the honorable recipient would be myself I can assure you. I am indeed the baddest mom in the world.

Here's the top ten reasons why, although they probably have more in their list:

1. I finished up a whole bar of Cadbury Almond Roasted chocolate all by myself. Not a tiny bit of it I shared with any five.
2. I left no. 5 wailing in the house while I went out seeing friends and had a heckuva time.
3. I forced, to the extent blackmailed, no. 3 to school despite his protests and excuses he gave on why he didn't want to go.
4. I hold grudge against them whenever they disobey me, don't listen to me.
5. When I am on the net or do my hobby and even on my TV night, I ignore the surrounding. And that includes no. 5.
6. I get angry everytime no. 5 gets clingy. What breaks your heart is that he understands I am angry at him and he makes faces just so I don't get angrier.
7. I feed them maggi mee, cepat dimasak sedap dimakan and a lot of other junkies.
8. I nag, I judge, I criticise. ha ha ha and needless to say, good at it.
9. I am a lazy mom. Not like other moms who do things for their children, I make them do things themselves ha ha ha like buat air teh, goreng telur, basuh kasut.
10. I am not their best friend.

However, in my defense:

Point no. 1

I always share with them foodwise. I buy junkies they like when I buy groceries. And they don't even share them with me. So once a while when I need to pamper myself with chocolate, I get even.

Point no. 2

If I don't do this, God knows when I can go out winding down or taking a break. My life revolves around them, once a while I need a getaway since I can't be cast away. I have to. Plus a happy mom makes a happy family, right?

Point no. 3

Oh come on! It's school. It's education. Whatever the reasons are, I don't care. He must go to school even though he spends 2 or 3 periods doing nothing (you know.. teacher got meeting lah, teacher went for course la, teacher off duty la... bla bla bla), he must be in school.

Point no. 4

Of course!! I'm the mom. They are the children. They deliberately disobey me all the time. As cliche as it may be, children listen to the parents, particularly the mom. So I'm the mom. Period.

Point no. 5

Mom needs a break too. Only on Tuesday nights. Too much to ask? After all, it's not going to be Tuesday nights throughout the year, only until the season finale of the show. After that, Tuesday nights would be like any other nights. Like I said, I need break so that I don't break, get me? Further, when are the times that I can do what I want or what I like if I don't fight for it, ya?

Point no. 6

This is the thing with breastfeeding I tell you, the baby, who is now in his 19th month, gets soooo clingy, sooo attached that sometimes you are not able to do anything else but be by his side, feed him. Had he been bottlefed, life will sail much smoother I suppose. I don't have regrets anyway except only when I need to bake and when I need to use both hands.

Point no. 7

I am just sharing nice food with my children, anything wrong with that? Plus they all love it. Also make it easier for me a bit lah especially on my lazy days to cook. But I don't feed them everyday... once in a while.

Point no. 8

Doesn't that what all moms do? Nag is the top activity. Judge is a process of learning about the challenges the outside world offers. And criticise, ahhh.... a skill so sharp it's being polished everyday on four different people that you kinda feel something missing when you don't do it one day.

Point no. 9

The reason I do that is to enhance their survival skills. That's all. No bad intention. And because I am a lazy person. *wink*

Point no. 10

As much as I want to be their best friends, apparently I am not. Probably I am so bogged down with the housework that only occasionally I ask and talk to them about their day, the school, their homework. Although I am home all the time but when I make time for them, I do it hastily. I am too focus on the cooking, housekeeping, laundry and all the other endless chores. Bad mommy huh?

Well, I am not that bad, I must admit.... wait till you see what all 5 do to me. For what it's worth, I really want to be #1's, #2's, #3's, #4's and #5's best mom in the world!

Since it is still May, Happy Mommy's Day to all you great mommies and aunties alike.

Dishonesty is the policy

There is definitely something wrong with Malaysian Postal Service or is it something wrong with the attitude of Malaysian mailman?

You see, last year, #1 and cousin made an online transaction. They purchase few Ts from UK together with some stickers and badges. Mode of delivery was via normal mail. Five Ts made it through. We waited for the last one but never arrived so we made enquiries to the company in UK. Actually, we did suspect that the mail could've been lost in transit - it made its way to KL only probably someone took it or simply lost in the mail. The company in UK came back saying that they were having some trouble with Malaysia orders as none of them were reaching their destination even though they had been sent 3, 4 times. We waited till they sorted the problem with our postal service.

Last week, it finally reached our residence. What really caught my attention was what I saw on the postman motorbike - the stickers. The very same stickers that didn't reach us. I would think that this person must have taken one of the packages although I know I can't accuse without any proof but it's a very rare brandname and according to #1 and cuz, this brandname is unpopular here and only known to certain teens. It's so impossible not to think otherwise.

So if next time you expect something in the mail and it doesn't arrive, go track it because it may end up in the postman's personal bag.

Journal of a FAILED Dieter

Day before Day One

Bought ingredients for diet recipes. All excited for this diet plan. Had the timetable all drawn out and put up on the fridge just so I won't stray from the plan. Had a pre-celebration - consumed nasi lemak, white rice and ikan masak kicap, a packet of munchy's nuss hazelnut wafer (I think around 10-12 pieces), a 250ml carton of chocolate milk, 1 piece of pulut panggang, 2 pieces of kuih bakar and list went on till midnight. hehehe... some preparation, huh?

Day One

Had oat in the morning, apple for mid-am snack, orange salad for lunch. Frankly, it felt like first day puasa. Melepeksss.... it was Sunday so I was home most of the time. Did exercise for 10 minutes, couldn't do more as no. 5 would sit on me whenever he saw me lying down. Very supportive brat!

Day Two

Another round of oat today for breakfast. Funnily though that I somehow crave for food when on non-diet days I couldn't care less about food, take for instance the fish curry I cooked. Hmmm... I supposed this is what they call carbo craving. Had cheated a bit... had no heart to see the fish untouched so I kinda snack on that. Hah!! Anyway, exercise as usual - 10 minutes.

Day Three

Felt like dropping the whole plan altogether. Just couldn't take it. The recipes were simple, but it was a bit time consuming as I had to prepare them rather early, like soaking the beans and lentils the night before. Errmm although making the french or yogurt dressing only take up less than 5 minutes of my time. Here is when I started to make excuses for not eating right. What's more, the sambal sotong and chicken rice I cooked for the family were pure temptations. Sambal is my favourite, irresistable! So again I cheated... mix the rice with the leftover sambal and had that for lunch. mmmmmm.. really satisfying!

Day Four

It was raining heavily in the morning. As always, I associate rain with hunger. You know when the normal feeling you have when it's cold, the tummy seems to be talking. A lot. Still sticking to the diet plan though, bought nasi lemak for no. 1, 4 and 5. Ooohh the smell I tell you. Nearly tasted the sambal. Diet went smooth although couldn't really overcome the craving. Duh!

Day Five

And already I felt like the fiftieth day that I was deprived of sugar, carbo, protein etc etc aka FOOD. Honestly, no inspirational words neither the blue kebaya can change my mind at this point of time I can tell you. What's more there's sambal udang kertas and kembung asam pedas waiting down in the kitchen. Why in the world did I cook all the irresistable dishes while dieting - I totally have no idea.

Day Five - 5.30pm

I am officially a failed dieter. Started nibbling on the leftover apricots. Couldn't resist the cakes I baked for Maz... well this one I really had to - quality control purposes. Diet plan gone haywire.

Day Six and Seven

I was on oat and oatmeal on and off but slacking at every mealtime.

What I am trying to do is to have a balanced and healthy food since the waistline has stretched far more than I expected and it doesn't look like it's decreasing at all that I started hating it. I mean, if you don't start now, when will be the perfect time, right? But it only proved one thing - I just don't have the will power. I am weaky weaky WEAK. Very poor at disciplining myself. Not that I don't get support. In fact, I have Sha who constantly called to check what I had that particular day and reminded me of my goals. Sadly, that is not enough. A failure I am, up to this moment I haven't got the gut to stand on the scale yet although the one I stood on in the supermarket showed encouraging figure while the one at home showed totally different figure.

Anyhow, while I find it hard to be on this diet regime, I would stick to my oat and wholemeal bread somehow.... If you must know that ever since I started this diet, Sha has been filling me up with all sorts of other diet plans - the no-rice plan, the all-oat plan, the on n off plan.. in fact I came up with a plan too - book-way and Sha's-way plan. ;> Guess I'd stick to my new plan and hope that in time I will be able to follow the diet and reach my target.

Why I hate traffic offenders!!!!

1. Well, who doesn't?
2. I am an amatuer driver. I am indecisive at times when approaching a T-junction or making a turn at a junction, what's more at a busy road. So please respect that, don't honk unnecessarily.
3. I have children in my car when I'm on the road and I take extra precaution to make sure that I travel safely with them especially when I'm on the road almost every two hours every day.
4. Their mistakes, we pay.
   
5. They run the red lights and when they do, they make it look like they own the road. I do run red lights only when I feel safe *wink*. I have kids in my car, remember? And of course I want to show them the importance of road safety. Ibu is not a bad driver.
6. They are the most sickening lot of people who think their time is the most important in the world. If you want to reach whatever place early, go out early la.